Red Wine, White Rose
by TaiomiFox
Summary: Sasori is a famous author looking for a helping hand, and Deidara is a loveable cross-dressing bum off the streets who loves his books. Funny Yaoi.
1. A Sign!

**Here it is! The fanfiction I've been debuting for the past 4 months! ****Red Wine, White Rose****!! I'm so proud. ENJOY THE YAOI!**

_Chapter One: __A Sign_

This was it. The rest of his life depended on this job. He sat in the chair, fondling his golden locks, the clock on the wall ticking noisily. He was nervous, anxious. The tension kept rising.

"Well , from what I see here... you used to be a _terrorist_?!" an overweight, balding man stammered, shocked,

"Um, yeah, well I mean--" Deidara began to sweat, _**'Oh no! I'm going to lose this one too, un!'**_ he stared at the fat man, waiting for him to continue his evaluation. Sitting wide-eyed as he muttered a few "Hmm's" and grunted out a couple of "Uh-huh's", the shook his head discerningly,

"No. I can't have your kind working here. I'm sorry Miss."

The man had his employees escort the blonde out the door, into the pouring rain wearing nothing but a red martini dress and gold strap high heels.

"Oh no! Not again, un. I need to get a job!" he looked at the grey sky and screamed into the eavens, "I NEED SOME KIND OF SIGN, UN!" followed by a drum of thunder as the rain pelted him harder. Warmth; that's what he _really_ needed. Across the street he spied a small Bookstore. He loved books. His favorite genres were action and romance. Without a moment's hesitation, the blonde man bolted across the street, almost stumbling on his heels. _**'Sanctuary, un!'**_ he mused himself inwardly, opening the door, a burst of warm air smacked him in the face. A big sign greeted him, practically screaming "ALL NEW RELEASES!" beside it was a bulletin board adorned with a lone flier with delicate writing that read _'Maid Wanted'_ followed by _'Apply at Akasuna's Office.'_ Akasuna was Deidara's most favored author! the excitement overwhelmed him,

"I'd give anything to work for him, un!" carefully examining the bright green tabs cut into the bottom, all of them were still intact. "Oh boy, un! I have a chance still!" the blonde briefly rejoiced, then violently yanked a tab from the flier and despite his lack of warm clothes, dashed out into the drizzly, yet sunny air outside. Deidara raced himself down the street-overhead, a rainbow shone against the dark clouds. He ran all the way home -A run down, dull, depressing apartment. But that didn't matter to him, he was about ti meet his favorite author! _**'A maid, huh? I think I've got something for that, un.'**_ He rummaged through his closet until he found what he was looking for. Holding it up, he smiled, "Perfect, un."

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The man known as Akasuna sat as his desk in his office, working on the end of his latest book. It was getting late and he was just about to begin packing up for the night when his supervisor came in,

"Oh joy..send them in, Kakuzu." the redhead drawled sarcastically. His eyes grew wide and he sat straight up when his editor walk through the doorway "Uh, Konan! I-is there something wrong?" She towered over him ,

"I. Want. A. Raise." Somewhere in the building, Kakuzu's wallet began to whine and his amttress hid under the bed.

"A raise? Why?" Sasori looked up, scared,

"This." She raised her arm, a rather large Sturgeon was clamped on up to her elbow, "The sushi bar is alive..." She glanced down at the fish, "...again."

_**'I really need to talk with Kisame about that...'**_ the redhead pulled out his black leather checkbook and stared warily at her, "How much?" he groaned,

"Four-Thousand monthly." Konan stated with confidence,

"Okay four.......WHAT?!?!?!"

"You heard me. Four. Thousand." The blue haired woman sneered.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

**One Hour Later**

It had just begun to get dark when Sasori left the parking lot in his red Toyota Prius. The rain had restarted its downpour. The storm had struck the small town like a locomotive. With his nimble fingers he gripped the steering wheel as if it was a vicious serpent trying to attack. (Not forgetting the fact that his steering wheel cover was snakeskin.) He drove against the storm in the dark up the private mountain path to his three story mansion. Surrounded by scenery-Sasori's yard was a landscape painter's dream. One side had a view of the distant ocean, the opposite looked out over the valley along with more mountains, as well as a single, great lake. But in the dark it was a lonely and eerie drive to the top.

He pulled into his driveway and walked up to the porch with it's cherry wood french doors and gilded doorknobs. Being an author helped Sasori pay for his castle-like abode. The storm got even worse after he had changed into his red lounging robe and asgot and settled down with a bottle of box wine and Edgar Allen Poe's _The Raven_. He shrank in his chair as he listened to hushed footsteps coming up the dark hallway toward his candle lit sanctum,

"H-hello...? Is anyone there?" Sasori trained his tired brown eyes on the dark doorway until something rough brushed up against his legs, which were propped up on his leather ottoman; he glanced up with wide eyes and uttered an ear-splitting scream at the tall, slender silhouette standing before him while the lightning struck- Filling the room with white light.

"Can I get you anything else, Sasori-Sama?" Tobi grinned. Tobi had always had a thing for his boss, a fetish, if you will... Sasori looked down at the splotches of blood red wine on his carpet,

"Run me a bath, and clean this mess up." He stood and strode off to his room to get undressed. He could hear faint thumping at the front door, paying no mind "This old house needs some work... the deadbolt must be loose again." as the lightning struck again.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The wind blew violently and the rain came down harder all around him as Deidara stood at the oversized doors in the dark. The air was cold as ice and it seemed like he'd been waiting for centuries on Akasuna's porch.

"I hope I'm not too late, un..." He yawned and began to drift off into a deep sleep as a warm light swallowed him.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

"I hope we get that maid soon. I'm going crazy here alone with Tobi. Always trying to seduce me." Sasori groaned into the steamy air, shifting a bit in the water as the sound of thundering feet raced up the hall, "Oh shi--"

"Sasori-Sama!" Tobi exploded into the room, eyes wide, "I think you should see this!" he clamored

Shocked by the sheer urgency in the raven man's voice, the red head hastily returned,

"What is it?!" He lept forth from the tub and with a swift move of the hand, caught hold of the towel and wrapped it around himself "What happened?!" the shorter man hollered as Tobi sped down the hall, dragging him along

"Look!" bellowed the raven man, he gestured to a sleeping girl on their front step, dressed as a frrench maid uniform, soaking wet and shivering.

"Tobi, go prepare a room!" Sasori commanded with the intensity of an army general,

"Yes !" the tall man obeyed, and shot off up a flight of stairs into the darkness once more. The freezing air slapped the red head's bare, wet skin as he darted outside to retrive the thin, young blonde from the storm. With his muscular arms, he carefully lifted the girl and brought her into the house and up the stairs. He came into the room looking lovingly at her face.

_**'Almost like an angel...'**_ he thought to himself. Tobi stood besise the open door and called into his boss' mind,

"Sasori-Sama, the bed is ready." the raven haired man stood still, _**'Hmm... she's going to become a problem...'**_

A while later, the girl had bee tucked away among many warm blankets and hot water bottles,

"She looks better..." Sasori whispered, now fully dressed and scanning the blonde's pale face,

"She'll wake up in a little while Sasori-Sama, let her rest." Tobi walked over from his spot by the window, placing a gentle hand on the red head's shoulder as he glanced at the little gold clock on the bedstand-

"Yes..." He in turn stood from the bed, the sun's first rays shining through the room- then strode out of the room and down the stairs back to his study.

Tobi followed slowly, reaching out for teh lightswitch by the door,

"Sleep well..." He mumbled jadedly.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Deidara slowly opened his eyes in the bright light and stared up at an unfamiliar ceiling. Gold embraced the walls of the victorian style room, dazzling and alarming the blonde man.

"Oh no! I fell asleep and now I'm at some posh hotel I can't pay for, un!" He shrieked, flailing his arms like a defanged fool as a grapefruit dropped from his man bra. He double-took a few times around the room and quickly replaced the citrus fruit firmly back into his lacey bra. He looked up, hearing footsteps approaching and faint whispers of conversation between what sounded like two men. Deidara froze and watched the doorway wide-eyed as a red heired man sidestepped into view, his back facing the room, nodding and gesturing in the direction he had just come from, mumbling at someone nearby. The blonde man watched as the red head turned. Catching just after a moment's glimpse of the man's face, Deidara knew it was Akasuna; his most favorite author in the world.

For only a moment, the blonde sat there, mouth gaping, eyes wide. The surprise was then overcome by excitement as realization brought him to stand up off the bedside and bow,

"H-hello , un." He squeaked nervously and stood with a twitchy fangirl smile creasing his delicate lips,

"Good morning; you're really lucky we found you last night young lady, or you would've frozen solid!"

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Sasori smiled warmly at the girl before him, then calmly walked forward to better greet his guest in the black lace. With an outstretched hand, he awaited a dainty handshake from the lovely blonde, but she shyed away, hiding her hands bahind her back,

"What's wrong?" The red head gently questioned _**'What a strange, innocent girl...'**_ the girl looked down as her stomach began to growl, and Sasori managed to chortle out the words in his fit of good-hearted laughter, "Come downstairs, its time for breakfast; We're having fried rice and dumplings."

~ * ~ * ~ * ~


	2. A Gift?

**Hello again fellow yaoi lovers! I can guarentee that this chapter will get juicy! This is an automated message and will self-destruct in 5 seconds.**

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

_Chapter Two: __A Gift_

Sasori watched in shock as the girl savagely stuffed sweet dumplings into her delicate face, Tobi sat beside the redhead, poking at his own plate of pancakes. The two simply stared waiting to find out whether she would explode or vomit first. Still bewildered at how such a thin girl could put away so much, Sasori pushed up his glasses and wearily quizzed,

"So, uh... You have a name?" awaiting her answer,

"My name's Deidara and _man_ these dumplings are good, un!" the blonde thrilled, mouth full. She reached over for another drink of milk,

"That's an interesting name for a young lady... where are your parents?" the man hesitated his words, hoping,

Deidara swallowed and began to speak, reaching for another dumpling,

"They abandoned me when I was little, un." She said solemly; The redhead didn't know how to respond, for he to was an orphan, and knew the the pain and hardship of being alone,

_**'Wow... and she never shows any sign of remorse...'**_ "I'm so sorry..."

"It's alright, its not your fault Mr. Akasuna, un." The blonde simply shrugged. Off somewhere the clock began to chime for the 7th hour. Silence wrapped itself throughout the air broken by Sasori,

"Please, call me Sasori. You'll be working for me, right?" the red head glanced at her outfit, a french maid uniform.

"Oh yes! I would love to Mr. Akasuna! un!" Deidara then jumped out of her chair and darted around the table to hug Sasori, whose eyes were fixed on the blonde's bouncing breasts. She stood behind him and wrapped her arms across the man's chest and smiled brightly, eyeing the stack of pancakes on his plate. Slowly she reached down and plucked one off the top, noshed it and began to dart back over to her chair; about halfway she stopped and leaned forward. Weighed down by sugar, she folded her arms across her stomach,

"Are you alright?" Sasori asked, concerned,

"I think I ate too much, un." Deidara groaned, the redhead laughed and escorted her to the bathroom upstairs where she locked herself in and threw up.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

"Ugh I ate awwy too much, un." Deidara said as he heaved again into the white toilet bowl. After a few minutes of straight puking, he finally stood to see a large stain of puke on his dress, "Shoot, I'll have to shower and find something else to wear, un." The man muttered under his breath as he took it off. He looked down at his black man bra and removed the grapefruits, setting them in the sink, "Maybe the lace underwear was overdoing it, un." he stipped down the rest the way and examined the bimps and indents left behind by the citrus fruits. he let down his long blonde hair and removed his maid collar, stepping into the shower and turning on the water. He was completely absorbed in the warmth of the water and didn't hear the bathroom door open, nor did he hear the humming coming from that area, it wasn't until the shower door opened and a rush of cold air hit him in the back that he realized he wasn't alone. He turned around to see Sasori, and began a screaming fit between them for two straight minutes. After their fit, Sasori looked at Deidara and screamed,

"YOU'RE A GUY!?"

_**'Oh crap, un! I've been found out! Woah, look at his--'**_ "UN?!" Deidara shreiked, he spun around and looked for a way out, but to no avail. He was trapped in the shower with another man.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

**Yes I know it was short, but I got lazy and was running out of time to type this up. Heh, I'll put up a really good one next time!!!**

**Thanks!**


	3. A Tragedy!

**Sorry for the loooooong delay! I read all the comments and it gave me a burst of inspiration to update! I have a doctor's appointment later so I had to seriously hurry. I thought I had lost the transcript earlier and I FREAKED out. But i found it in my sketchbook. ^_^' ENJOY!**

_3: A Tragedy!_

Dimmed lights began to flicker in the room as Tobi sat on his bed, glaring spitefully at the dartboard that hung on his bedroom door. He got up and walked over, unfolding a paper in his hands and then pinning it onto the board, revealing a picture of the young blonde Deidara hugging Sasori lovingly.

"Your pretty face doesn't fool me, I know what you're after." the raven hissed, taking a few steps backward while pulling three knives out of his pocket. He held them up as to present the picture it's doom and began to fling them one by one, all the while shouting as they hurled through the air, the first hit Deidara's cheek as Tobi shouted, "Sasori-" then a second whizzed by and stuck itself into the blonde's forehead, "-Is-" he held the third up diabolically, an almost sinister aura surrounded it, "MINE!" then the raven chucked it as hard as he could, the knife flew and hit hard enough to stick almost halfway past the handle, plunged deep into Deidara's heart. "I'm not about to lose this. You think you have Sasori in the palm of your hand! But you don't! Muwahahahaaa-"

_**We had to cut him off there because Tobi is the psychotic evil mastermind of the story and he is only allowed a limited amount of time to introduce the problem and then gloat about it. Moving on to Sasori and Deidara's POV**_

Sasori paced nervously in front of the bed, his blue towel flowing behind him like a regal cape. Deidara sat with his head in his hands, crying onto his pink towel, his golden locks trailed down to tickle his knees,

"What are we going to do, Sasori-Sama, un?" The blonde choked out, starting up another bout of sobbing,

"I don't know, Dei, but we have to think of something..." The red head strode over and embraced the blonde's shivering wet body, "...But you have to be strong, okay?"

"Okay, un." Deidara looked around the room and then up at Sasori's face, "But what will I wear? I puked on my dress and my grapefruits are rotting, un." Sasori pondered this a moment, thoughtfully stroking his chin and then exclaimed

"SOFT BALLS!" The redhead's sudden outburst sent Deidara reeling backwards,

"WHAT, UN?" he shrieked in confusion as Sasori ran to his closet and rummaged through it a moment. He found a big black bag with a baseball bat sticking out of the partially zipped zipper, from which he produced two white women's soft balls. They were larger then Deidara's grapefruits but he nodded in approval, it seemed like a great idea at the moment. Then the redhead ran back to his closet and went to the very back, cursing and floundering until he grabbed what he wanted: a formal blouse and a pair of skinny fit pinstripe jeans. He threw the ensemble across the room to Deidara and then darted over to his bedstand, opening the drawer and pulling out a pair of black reading glasses and put them on the blonde's face,

"Put those on!" he shouted enthusiastically, and shoved him to the bathroom once more and closed the door. A few minutes later, Deidara walked out -Soft balls in place- and spun around to model for the man.

"These fit great, Sasori-Sama, un! But I don't understand..." He stood, baffled

"Whats not to understand, Dei?"

"Well, I know you wanted to give me clothes because I don't have any, but what I don't get is why you have women's clothes in your closet in the first place, un." He stared at Sasori, who in turn nervously replied,

"Well, look at the time, its dinner now, where should we go tonight? Your choice, Dei, pick a restaurant and I'll go get Tobi and we can go, okay?" He rubbed the back of his head and the blonde looked at him,

"Okay! Let's go to Arby's, un!" he happily punched his fist into the air and ran into the bathroom to do his hair,

"Okay then, I'll go grab Tobi and we can go, ok?" _**'Phew. That was a close one.'**_ he turned and began to sprint out the door

"Get dressed, Sasori Sama, un." Deidara shot,

Sasori looked down at his blue towel and quickly pivoted around, "Oh yes, right, silly me, haha!"

_**'Sheesh, what a wierdo, un.'**_ Deidara shrugged and turned back towards the mirror, brushing and curling his long blonde hair.

**An hour Later**

Sasori glared past the crushed and mangled cars sitting in the middle of the intersection and saw no way through. His tiny little red prius seemed to stare like a traumatized child at the Car-Nage. Deidara sat in the back seat and said,

"Just go around, Sasori-Sama, un." Tobi glanced back at the blonde, and then double took at Sasori,

"Yes, There is no way we are gonna get through here, Sasori. Take the express way." The raven pointed to the left of the four-car pileup,

"But if we take the express way, we'll be late!" Sasori pounded the steering wheel with his gloved hands in frustration. But he soon gave in and turned left, speeding down the road at a blazing twenty two miles per hour. Deidara hopped forward and clicked on the radio

_'What is love? Baby don't hurt me- Don't hurt me, No more- What is love?-'_

"OH I LOVE THIS SONG, UN!" The car hit a pothole and everyone started bobbing their heads. Sasori shot his hand forward and punched the radio off,

"No radio! I need to concentrate!"

"But its there to be listened to, un!" the blonde clicked the radio on again and resumed bobbing his head,

"I hate this song!" Tobi twisted the knob to a classical radio station, "This is much better." He sighed as Vivaldi's "Spring" filled the tiny car with it's upbeat scales and minor chords, Sasori glared flustered and gave the knob another harsh twist, changing it to a Rap station,

"Now this is music!" the redhead yelled over the pounding drumbeats and angry stanzas,

"It hurts my ears, un!" Deidara yelled, he turned the knob back to his station, Tobi shot his hand forward and twisted it hard to classical once more, before Sasori joined in. All the fuss and confusing turning was too much for the poor little radio and the knob broke off,

_' Woah-a-woah What is Love? -dun dun da dun dun da dun dun da dun dun-'_ Deidara turned and stuck his tounge out and began to bob his head, Sasori and Tobi sighed. Sasori went back to bobbing his head as well, while Tobi stuck his head out the window to spit, but the car hit another pothole and he hit his head on the car door,

"OH GOD!" He clutched his forehead, unconciously bobbing along to the beat.

They finally arrived at Arby's. Finally. Deidara got out and stretched his legs, then yelled

"IM THINKIN ARBY'S, UN!" and ran inside. Sasori and Tobi got out of the car, the redhead took off his driving gloves and locked it just before Tobi got the door closed, and then the car alarm went off.

"AH! SHUT IT OFF!" the raven haired man bellowed,

"I'm trying!" The redhead returned, fumbling with the keys. The alarm stopped and the two were left with a bad ringing in their ears. They walked in the front door and spotted Deidara ordering everythign on the menu,

"And I'll have the-"

"Deidara!" Sasori screeched, but he was too late and the blonde had racked him up a six-hundred dollar tab.

"There goes my paycheck." Tobi sighed.

**Hope you enjoyed this really short chapter. I do not own "What is Love" nor do I own Arby's or Deidara, Sasori and Tobi.**

**Arby's(c) Arby's**

**Sasori, Tobi, and Deidara (c) Masashi Kishimoto. I don't know why I called it a tragedy, but the next chapter will be jucier, if I don't procrastinate!**


	4. A Trip?

**Sorry I havent done much in a while... Heres Chapter 4 Ready for your reading pleasure! Im also pretty sick so this chapter might be a bit fuzzy.. =w= just like my memory of where i left chapter 5's transcript.**

_Chapter 4: A Trip..._

Once again, the blonde say vigorously devouring the entire menu in front of Sasori, Tobi and everyone else in the place. Everywhere women were shielding their children's eyes from the animalistic horror of a young girl with two old men downing roast beef and cherry cola almost as if it was simply air. The look of pure nostalgia on Sasori's face didn't help the slight state of panic among the restaurant patrons. He sat staring at Deidara's mouth. Tobi quickly noticed this and elbowed the redhead in the ribs then returned to his warm, cheesy sandwich. Sasori blinked and looked around the room. Everyone quickly looked away and returned their attention to their food;

"Hm... I know what we should do," the redhead turned to Tobi who then signaled to Deidara to pay attention.

"What is it Sasori-Sama?" the raven asked enthusiastically, the blonde didn't speak but she looked up at Sasori from her plate as Tori suddenly caught a glimpse of her large breasts, _'Something is... different...'_

"Yush, uhn?" Deidara qizzed, mouth full, to which the redhead replied

"Let's go on a trip! Out to the country or maybe the tropics!"

"Sasori, you just finished a book and you have a tour soon..." Tobi said, half scolding the man, Deidara watched in foody silence,

"I know but I just want to relax and we can all use a break," the redhead retorted calmly, "Isn't that right, Dei?" the blonde looked up at him, a piece of roast beef stuck out of the corner of her mouth,

"Uhh Huhh, Un!" she mumbled through tons of food as the redhead stole the bit and ate it "Hey!"

"It's settled then, we'll go to-"

"Hawaii!" Tobi shouted and Deidara's eyes lit up,

"Hawaii, un?" She stood up and slammed her hands down on the table, "I've always wanted to to go Hawaii, un!"

So everyone finished their food and headed to the dar, all the while Deidara was fantasizing about exotic island lands, Tobi was thinking of a strategy for spitting out the window without getting hurt again. While fumbling with his car keys, Sasori realized his wallet was missing,

"Oh no! I left my wallet behind!" He spun around in time to catch a glimpse at a man running away holding it in his hands, "Stop! Thief!" the redhead was a blur as he darted after him, grabbing someone's umbrella and jumping into the air, holding it like a shinai. Deidara watched, mouth agape as the entire world seemed to slow down, Sasori brought the thief down with a single downward strike from the umbrella. The burly criminal went down like a mighty oak,

"Uwah~!" He hit the sidewalk and rolled; Sasori landed gracefully on his feet, then stepping hard on the middle of the man's back,

"Give me back my wallet!" he bellowed firmly, pressing the tip of the umbrella against the back of his neck as the wind blew, gently tousseling his bright red locks. The man on the ground squirmed and let go of the wallet, Sasori stepped off and grabbed it. He examined it a moment, wind still ruffling his hair, then placed the wallet back into his pants pocket and walked away. As he passed the crowd that had gathered, he placed the umbrella to its rightful, astonished owner and strode back to his car.

"Sasori-Sama, that was amazing, un!" Deidara bounded over and hopped in the back seat, hugging the redhead from behind,

"Uh, thannks, Dei." he said breathlessly, "You're choking me~" the blonde let go of him and leaned back, smiling.

Tobi got in the front passenger seat and buckled in, Sasori turned the car on and backed out of the parking lot. He stopped at the driveway to slide on his driving gloves and gripped the wheel excitedly,

"Alright everyone, when we get home, start packing for the trip." he said enthisiastically and then looked into the rearview mirror, another car was swerving and skidding on the wet roads, speeding toward them, "Woah!" Sasori cranked the wheel as the other car sped up and grazed the left side of the bumper. The Prius wobbled and fishtailed on the road, a horrible screeching filled the air as Sasori skillfully evaded the other car - At the same time swerving around innocents passing on the road - The lights over the street seemed to be the eyes of Rikudo Sennin staring down on them from the darkened sky. The car turned toward them again - Its right headlight broken from the previous impact - and sped across two lanes of traffic at the driver's side door,

"Sasori-Sama! On the left, un!" Deidara screamed, and Tobi quickly turned his head to Sasori,

"Hit the brake, Sasori!" he shouted as the redhead hunched over and gripped the wheel tighter, stomping on the brake as hard as he could,

"Everyone hang on!" He screamed as the car lurched and skidded, sending everyone forward. The redhead watched in fear and anger as the other car skidded sideways in front of them, the driver's face was now visible and painted like a skull. He seemed to be laughing maniacally; the passenger in the car had half of his face painted black and the other half whiet. He was grinning like an animal from behind some type of large plant,

"Sasori-Sama! Who are they, un?" Deidara screamed more while Sasori examined the others,

"Oh no... Hidan and Zetsu!" He shouted and cranked the wheel hard to the left as Hidan sped his Mazda at the right of the Prius, ramming into the front passenger door with the force of a friet train. Tobi shrieked in pain as the impact snapped his right leg in half like a twig,

"My leg! Oh dear god!" the raven clutched his shin and yelped,

"Sasori-Sama!" the blonde was terrified, she held on to the seat as the car rolled over, the roof crushed down and windows smashed to pieces. Everyone was silent in the darkness, only the sound of rain outside filled the air, pittering and pattering on the twisted body of the car.

Sasori opened his eyes. He heard a heavy groan and looked over, Tobi was beside him, clutching his horribly esposed shin - Snapped in half and bleeding profusely; he was upside down. The redhead reached down and felt the roof of the car. he searched for the seat belt release, senses confused by the crash,

_'What the hell was that?'_ he clicked the latch and slipped free. In the dark, he could smell gasoline; a lot of it. Carefully, he unbuckled Tobi and eased him out of the car through the bashed out windshield, placing him aside away from the wreck and safely out of the way of traffic. The raven opened his eyes, wincing at the pain of his leg,

"S-Sasori...Sama... The car, it's-" He passed out before he could finish his sentence, head lolling back as he closed his eyes and sighed with great effort.

Sasori looked back at the Prius, gasoline was all over the road and he could see his laughing assailants - Now standing out of their car - Slapping their knees and bending over in breathless guffaws. The redhead was about to go over to them and beat them to a pulp when the gasoline caught fire, setting the whole car ablaze,

"Dei!" he screamed and ran toward the back door. He couldn't get ip open but he could see him lying unconsious across broken glass and a collection of books and shopping bags. Sasori punched through the window and began to pull the glass from the door, then grabbed Deidara. He climbed in halfway and unbuckled him from the seat then slung him across his broad shoulders, carefully lowering himself to the ground and lifting him out of the burning car into the cool night air. With the blonde hoisted onto his shoulders, Sasori rushed to Tobi's side and placed him down beside the raven. He flipped his phone out of his pocket and took off his driving gloves,

"Aw, man..." he pressed a few button and grunted at the broken screen. In the distance he heard sirens apporaching "Good thing... I thought we would be stuck here for a while..." Sasori sighed as he caught sight of the first ambulance to turn the corner. Just as the feeling of relief had taken over, he was interrupted by a sudden

"Hey, Sasori!" A strong hand grabbed his left shoulder. The redhead turned to see Hidan's face, grinning stupidly like nothing had happened,

"Hidan!" Sasori stood quickly and grabbed his shirt collar, "you could've _killed_ us!" he snarled and shook him

"Just havin' a little fun with my old pal!" Hidan chortled, and Sasori let go. Zetsu walked over calmly, a toothy grin stretched across his face,

"Evening, Sasori-Sama!" he spoke with an excited growl that caused Sasori to take a step back.

Everyone stood still as the paramedics loaded Deidara and Tobi into the back of the ambulance.

Deidara finally came to and stared up at the roof of the ambulance for a moment,

"Huh...? Sasori-Sama, un?" he looked around, to his right, Tobi lay unconsious, his broken shin sticking out of his leg. He heard Sasori's voice outside accompanied by the sound of a gentle rain, "Sasori!" he sat up and called out again, "Sasori-Sama, un!" watching as the redhead turned around, his face slightly cut up and hair drenched from the drizzle,

"Dei!" he ran around Hidan and Zetsu and hopped up into the back of the ambulance, reaching out for the blonde's outstretched hands, "How do you feel?"

"Okay, un. What happened?" he quizzed, looking out at Hidan as he got back into his car. The silver-haired man leaned out his window and called to Sasori

"We'll follow you!" in a cheery tone, as Sasori flipped him the bird. Deidara giggled, making the redhead turn to look back at him. Their eyes met and Sasori pulled Deidara into a kiss just as the ambulance doors closed.

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it was a 5-page nightmare for me and my tired eyes. I do not own Toyota prius or Mazda Protoge. Nor di i own Sasori Tobi or Deidara.**


	5. A Fall!

**Really sorry I haven't done much in a while! School has been getting in the way recently... But I have a new laptop! On with this next chapter of 'Red Wine, White Rose'! I hope the yaoi fans enjoy what you've all been waiting for!(warning to yaoi haters: skip to the end of this chapter.)**

_Chapter 5: ...A Fall_

X

At the hospital, Sasori and Deidara were treated for minor cuts all the while being barked at by Hidan and Zetsu-Who were still giggling to themselves over their "Close Call". They badgered Sasori about his vacation plans,

"Aw Sasori, come on! Let us come with you!" The silver haired men half chuckled as he ruffled Deidara's drenched locks, "We promise not to take the plane down!" He let off and nudged Zetsu in the ribs,

"Yes and I would love to see aunt Nina again," the tall man reached down to his pocket and took out a picture of himself beside a Giant Rafflesia Flower, "she could use the company since my uncle dissappeared mysteriously." Then he showed them another picture, this time of a large, white Tree Orchid.

"Fine, but when I say you're not allowed to share my room, I mean it!" The red head glared at them, "It's too bad Tobi got hurt..." he turned to an open room where the Raven lay unconsious on a hospital bed. He couldn't take his eyes away from his exposed shin until a doctor finally approached,

"Unfortunatly, Tobi will have to have surgery to repair his leg, and then be on a six month hospital stay for analysis during his recovery. Then, of course there's the full year of Physical Therapy he's going to need. Have a nice evening!" He patted Sasori on the shoulder as the red head's eye twitched. When the doctor had turned the corner, Sasori turned to the blonde,

"Looks like we're not going to Hawaii after all, Dei." he said. Deidara's lower lip began to quiver, her blue eyes brimming with tears.

"But... Sasori-Sama, un..." she whimpered, eyes piercing, almost breaking Sasori's heart.

"I'm sorry, Dei... Maybe some day-" he was cut off by Tobi,

"S-Sasori... Wait..." The raven struggled to sit up as he called to him, "It's better... if... You go without me..." Sasori rushed over to calm him and lie him back down,

"But, Tobi we-"

"Just go, Sasori. Deidara deserves it for working so hard to be your employee..." Then he sighed and relaxed himself. He looked at Sasori's worried face, "It will be fun for you too, Sasori-Sama." He smiled at the red head before closing his tired eyes.

X

The sky was painted with the brilliant colors of Sunset as the storm clouds passed. Blazes of orange, pink, red and yellow splashed and mingled across the horizon in the most beautiful way.

"The rental will be here soon, Dei. Got everything?" Sasori turned around to look at Deidara, violently scribbling out every possible crayon color onto an unsuspecting piece of paper. With her determined expression and fierce annihlation of her media, Sasori concluded she was best left undisturbed.

_'That's one serious look on his face... I wonder what shes drawing.'_ he looked at the paper in front of the blonde. As he overlooked the image taking place, his eyes widened when the myraid of colors came together in a piece that was comparable to Botticelli's Birth of Venus, that took up every corner of the page, forming a near copy of the firey sky,

"Ta-da, un!" Deidara smiled excitedly, obviously proud of her work,

"That's amazing, Dei!" Sasori stepped forward and took the picture gently in his hands, admiring its rich detail, "How did you learn to draw like this?" he extended a free hand to the blonde and helped her to her feet, then pulling her into a loving hug as he continued to smile at the drawing,

"I took a class once when I was little, un. I have lots more!" Sasori smiled and gave the picture back to Deidara and kissed her forehead as Hidan and Zetsu walked up behind them,

"Oi, there's the car!" Hidan pointed to a tow truck with a light blue Prius on the flat bed,

"Oh yay!" Deidara hopped around,

"Okay, everyone is going to my place first since I have a few phone calls to make," the red head announced upon signing the release forms. Then the tow truck drivers unloaded their ride home and everyone was set. As soon as Sasori had waved them off, he pulled on his driving gloves and started up the Prius. Everyone got in and braced for the long ride back to the Hill(with Hidan and Zetsu in the far back of course for Sasori's fear of an attempt at assasination...)

X

When Sasori pulled in the driveway at his home, He was greeted by another car and a small party at his front door with Pain, Konan, Kakuzu, Itachi and Kisame all laughing and calling to them,

"Hey Sasori! We heard you were goin' on vacation to Hawaii!" Kisame shouted, surfboard in hand as the red head got out of his car,

"And we wanted to tag along!" Pain gave Sasori ths Shocka,

"But... How did you find out?" The red head glanced back at Hidan, who had just flipped his cellphone closed. The silver haired man smiled and placed the phone in his back pocket as he trotted over to Kakuzu, saying hello to him the only way he knew how: With the longest and most grope-filled kiss the group had ever seen. Even Kisame, who was a long time partener of Itachi-The most sadistic man in the world-Let his jaw drop in shock. Itachi saw him and grabbed his chin, pulling him into another make-out as he tugged at his teal hair,

"Uhh... No comment." Konan watched drooling. Pain turned to Sasori,

"That's just great. More people going with us." He ignored the festing and stuck up his middle finger in return to another one of Pain's shockas, causing Deidara to giggle.

"Sasori-Sama, how are we going to get in the house now, un?" the blonde said, playing with his faux glasses.

"We'll use the back door~" Sasori smiled akwardly as Deidara broke into a fit of laughter, barely gasping out,

"You said back door, un!" as he fell to the ground, still laughing. Sasori sighed, lifting the giggling blonde up onto his shoulders, and walked to the front door past the small encampment, into the house, leaving the door open for the rest to follow.

"Go get packed up, Dei." The red head set him down and he scampered up the stairs.

X

Deidara grabbed everything he could think of and threw it into his bag in an excited frenzy. The mouths on his hands began to chatter away, forcing him to stop packing in an effort to quiet them,

"Shh! You guys have to keep quiet, un!" he whispered as the left retorted,

"When are you going to tell him?" and the right continued with,

"Yeah, we're getting suffocated in your pockets! I've swallowed hundreds of lints balls already!" as it licked more fluff from between its teeth. Deidara heard footsteps coming up the staris and he clasped his hands together behind his back as Sasori came in the door with the phone held to his ear. He was talking to what sounded like an old woman,

"Granny, I'll be fine! No, you don't need to come with me!" He grabbed a few things out of the closet and smiled at Deidara, who was standing upright with both hands still behind his back and an akward grin plastered on his face. He waited until the red head left the room before relaxing and looking at his hands again, which were now complaining about being stuck together.

"Oh that is so gross! You know I don't like being stuck right next to HIM!" the right whined and continued picking the lint from its teeth as the left sputtered and spit,

"What is WRONG with you! Wear gloves the next time you do that!" it spat out more drool (and lint) onto the carpet.

"Alright alright, just quiet down, un! I'll tell Sasori eventually" the blonde barked at his hands just as Sasori walked back in the room. This time, he wasn't holding the phone and heard everything. Once he caught sight of Deidara's hands flinging their tounges and bickering with the blonde, his eyes widened and he screamed briefly, in suprise and shock,

"Dei, what are those?" he rushed over and looked at the palms of his hands as the mouths continued to chat away while Deidara looked at the red head sheepishly. He met Sasori's terrified eyes and quickly looked away, bursting into tears,

"I was going to tell you, un... Please don't think im sone kind of mutant, un!" the blonde sobbed as Sasori took him in his arms to comfort him. Gently, the red head took his chin in his hand and turned his head to meet his gaze,

"It's okay, Dei... You want to know something about me...?" he let go briefly enough to take his shirt off, revealing his muscular chest, and a container sticking slightly out of it over where his heart is. He pointed at it and looked at the blonde, "See this?"

Deidara nodded, "Yes, un...?" Sasori took it out of his chest, leaving a huge hole,

"This is my heart." and he placed it back into the hole. He hugged the blonde close, but he looked away again, still sniffling. Again, he turned the blonde to face him, and kissed him lovingly on the lips. Deidara closed his eyes and shyly wrapped his arms around Sasori's shoulders. For a moment, the two felt like they could almost hear eachother's thoughts, before Deidara stumbled and fell backwards onto his bed. Sasori laughed and followed him down, kissing him again and bringing him into another loving embrace. They rolled over, Deidara underneath Sasori as he looked at him. They both thought the same thing, and the blonde smiled up at the red head. Sasori crashed their lips together passionatly, both of them climbing up all the way onto the bed and then stripping off their clothes. Now naked, they held eachother close; Sasori licked at the blonde's bottom lip and stuck in his tounge in a longing kiss, running his hand through his silk locks. He stopped to look at Deidara's face, so full of innocence and wanting. He nodded to the redhead, smiling, and then pulled him back into the kiss as Sasori slowly slid his length into him. Deidara arched his back and let out a breathless moan, a look of pain crossed his face but soon the pain became pleasure as Sasori held his arms down, thrusting slowly and building speed. The two panted and held eachother, growing closer with every moment, their hardened members aching for release. A few more thrusts, and Sasori finished at the same time as Deidara, shuddering and collapsing onto him panting heavily, smiling tiredly. He gently kissed Deidara's cheek and stroked his hair,

"How was that, Dei?" The redhead breathed quietly, close to Deidara's face as the blonde smiled back,

"Wonderful, Sasori-Sama, un~" He snuggled close to the redhead, yawning. Sasori hugged him close and pulled a blanket over them, dozing off with the blonde.

There would be no packing tonight.

X

**I tried! I hope you liked it really i do ive never writted a chapter like this before OwO; oh well please review/comment/fave/worship.**


	6. A Loophole?

**Oh man, sorry about the late update. I completely forgot about RWWR. I will make up for it from now on! Also Please visit me on my new DeviantART: Taiomi Fox. Deviant Art .Com. I've been trying to keep it together lately and have been working long nights ^^; ...**

Chapter 6: _A Loophole?_

As the golden rays of the Sun crept through the curtained windows and down across Deidara's delicate blonde locks, and birds sang sweet melodies outside in the warmth, he stirred. A quiet groan of waking rose from his throat as he rubbed his tired eyes to look at Sasori beside him. He smiled to find the redhead looking back with his warm gaze, meeting his sparkling chocolate eyes with his own beautiful crystalline blue.

"Good morning, Sasori-Sama... Un." The blonde whispered. Sasori leaned over and kissed him gingerly on the cheek, running his hand through his long hair,

"Good morning, Dei." the redhead straightened up and stretched out his tone arms. He stopped himself from yawning when he caught a nasty smell in the air around them. Suddenly noticing the heavy smoke, Deidara too became aware. The whole room smelled of a burning plant. Sasori frowned and handed Deidara his handkerchief, mumbling "Zetsu." and getting out of bed.

"Ugh, Sasori-Sama what is that smell, un?" the blonde spoke through the cloth he now held over his mouth and nose, grimacing at the lingering scent. Sasori fanned the air with his hand,

"I think somebody had a little fun of their own, Deidara. Come on..." He headed for the door, followed by Deidara. The Blonde scampered along, keeping the cloth over his face firmly and energetically pursuing the redhead out the door, through the hallway and down the stairs. The two the mound of the others, piled on top of one another in the middle of the room. Kisame opened his eyes and looked up at Sasori, who was tapping his foot, arms crossed.

"Hey Sasori! How are you?" he grinned, glinting his sharp teeth in the smoky light. Itachi awoke at the sound of the shark man's nervousness and noticed the redhead glooming over them.

"Oi, Sasori. You should try this," He extended his arm as far as he could, holding a half burnt Joint between his index and middle fingers, "it feels great." then he took it away momentarily enough to take another hit and present it again to the redhead.

"Itachi. Kisame. Where the Hell did you two get that?" his eyes became daggers as he looked down his nose at the two. Sasori was now a dragon, growling and spitting fire at the thought of his beautiful home smelling like Marijuana, knowing all the windows were closed and the wallpaper was already stained from the copious amounts of smoke. He almost let the thought of the police coming by escape him just as the doorbell rang. He jumped a little before nervously creeping over to the great double doors. Cautiously, Sasori opened the door wide enough to stick his head out, only to have it shoved violently all the way open by Hidan,

"Hey guys! We got some brewsky to celebrate!" the silver haired man slurred. Kakuzu followed him in the door nearly shoving Sasori over, carrying a large box of beer and a bottle in one hand. Sasori weasled out and grabbed Hidan by the collar of his shirt, seething,

"What the Hell were you guys thinking?" he shook the silver haired man as he laughed with intoxication,

"We were just having a little fun, Sasori, Heh. Nothing's wrong with that." Hidan grinned wide while the redhead turned his attention to Kakuzu. Dropping Hidan, he confronted the older man,

"Kakuzu! You're supposed to be more responsible than this!" He scorned, "How could you let them do this?" to which he replied,

"I got bored." and simply walked over and set the box and his open bottle of beer on the table, then wiped the ice off of his hands onto his pants and nodded to Sasori. Although confused, Sasori took the opportunity to call everyone to some amount of attention, hoping they wouldn't be screwed up enough to be kicked out of the plane. Deidara jumped happily, completely forgetting about the smell of marijuana and alcohol in the air and paying full attention to Sasori and excitedly fantasizing about Hawai'i.

"Alright guys. Since there's probably a bunch of people already heading out as there is, we need to get our stuff together as fast as we can..." the redhead looked at Hidan, slapping him casually across the face, "And sober up, god dammit!"

Itachi and Kisame laughed at this, watching the silver-haired man rub his cheek with a strange expression that was neither pain nor anger. Pain and Konan just sat beside eachother, probably the least drugged up out of the whole lot, calmly sitting on the couch and listening to Sasori go on about the plane and hand out the tickets that he supposedly had gotten from the publishing company. They knew it was out of his pocket. Pain stared curiously at Zetsu. He seemed lonely without Tobi, as if he longed for the raven's presence, with downturned eyes and a small frown creasing his black and white lips.

Out of the corner of his eye, Pain watched the man, tracing the piercings that ran down one side of his face and fondling them with nerve. Zetsu stared down at his ticket, still frowning as he ran his fingers along the thin paper edge in deep thought, still thinking about Tobi and murmuring conversation between his halves in an effort to try to assure himself that the raven man would be fine. He retorted at himself and bargained with the promise of his family being there, but he told himself about how they didn't know he was gay and that they'd never understand if he had told them now. He smiled and conforted himself and reassured his other half that they would be fine and if they weren't that was alright too. He reminded himself that he was his own man now.

And Pain, still watching out the corner of his eye, finally turned and called Zetsu over for decent conversation instead of talking to himself all alone in the corner. Zetsu smiled and obliged, getting up and siting on the chair beside the couch where Pain sat and the two began conversing as old friends do.

Shortly, thereafter, everyone was packing or already packed, and attempting to sober up as best as possible before they left. It was midmorning by the time they went out the door and headed off each i their separate cars to the airport and onto their plane. Deidara's fears rose in his stomach. He had never been on an airplane before, and he looked nervously out the window at the ground,

"Sasori-Sama.. un.." his voice trembeled and he brushed his golden hair out of his face with a wimper to the redhead who put one arm around his shoulders and returned quietly,

"Yes, Dei?" he looked out the window with the blonde and tried his best to comfort him,

"I...I've never been on a plane before, un..." the blonde tensed up slowly as the engines begin to hum, and he moved away from the window. Sasori hugged him gently and laughed,

"Dei it's fine. We're safer in the air than on the ground or in the ocean, trust me." the redhead smiled and kissed the blonde on the cheek as the plane took off and waited until he fell asleep before he shifted in his seat and drifted off to pass the time.

X

**OKAY sorry it's short but I have a ton of other stuff im working on simultaneously ^^; I ahve two original stories up and coming in my DeviantART gallery and I'm spriting dragons for a forum~ so please check out my deviantart for more: Taiomi Fox. Deviant Art .com**

**Stay tuned for the pickup in Chapter 7: A Suprise!**


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